by Michele Cameron Drew
For centuries artists, writers, musicians, and poets have all tried to create the ultimate picture of intimacy to no avail. It's mystery lies within the human heart and spirit, the connection between the two individuals, the experiences they share, and how they interpret them to each other. Falling in love is easy, achieving true intimacy and staying in love is the difficult part.
The term intimacy comes from the Latin word initmus, which means the most private, most personal of all relationships. It refers to a special closeness between two people who know each other well, understand each others' needs and have made a commitment to continuously care for each other on the deepest and most personal levels.
How Webster defines intimate:
intimate (in'.ta.mat) a. innermost; familiar; closely-related; close; n. an intimate friend; intimacy n. the state of being intimate; sexual relations.
At the center of everyone's need to be loved is the need to be loved for who and what we really are. Your unique qualities, especially the ones that vary from your partner, and what they bring to your relationship, are most important of all.
First love thyself. If you don't love the person that you are, it is not possible to truly love another. Never put yourself or your lover first. Selfishness or self-sacrifice will get you nowhere.
Many people tend to be constantly looking for the perfect person rather than learning to live and love those right here in the real world. Fantasies are nice, but real love is at the heart of the matter. That perfect person will probably only exist in the mind of the person who contrives them in a fantasy. Rejecting the differences between fantasy and reality breaks the possibility of intimate connection with another, because you subconsciously love the fantasy and break away from the reality.
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